35 weeks and counting

Iv fallin behind on blogging its been almost a month since Iv posted Ill save the excuses the truth is I havent been doing anything important just every day life. but im 35 weeks pregnant now and in a strange strange way I feel less pregnant then ever before Dont get me wrong I have a plethora of symptoms BUt im not feeling it anymore im not wakeing up every day thinking about pregnancy or planing for my child or well anything other then peeing and makeing breakfest. It just feels normal now like nothing is happening maybe thats why im not blogging as much I dont feel like prepareing anymore I dont feel like anything needs to be done which is honestly about as far from the truth as possiable my due date is in 1 month and 1 day and I still dont have anywhere for my baby to sleep. but its not all bad news We actually are finally getting some stuff ready.


 we did get an awesome travel system a few weeks ago.

Baby trend Mojito all terrain jogging stroller and granted Iv never used a stroller or had a kid before but so far I freaking love the thing. on the way home it glided like A caddy I swear it actually made it easier for me to walk.



And I finally have some clothes for him to wear .

can you tell his newborn clothes might have a hint of the Halloween section. iv got like 8 more 0-3 month outfits to but Im to lazy to find the pictures.

plus weve allready got diapers in NB and size 1 wipes nursing pads and milk storage bags to last at least a week or two. a bedding set a diaper bag a few baby toys 4 or 5 board books and an infant to toddler tub. so all in all not really that far from ready and honestly I should be getting my pack n play of awsomness this week anyway.

also known as Graco Pack n Play with Newborn Napper- Flare
hello shelving sleeping and changing all in one space. perfect for my tiny excuse for a home.so actually im really not that far from ready at all. the rest we will probably pick up as we go depending on what we end up actually needing so hurray for almost being baby ready. so yeah that's about it. not that exciting for a post to make up for not posting for almost a full month lol.
 

Baby Games (early play)

So I know alot of this stuff is considered duhuh but honestly I really dont know how to play baby games so Im compiling a list of baby games to play with little Connor

Face to Face Games

Peekaboo. Hide your face behind your hands or a book, menu, pillow (you get the idea…), then uncover your face and say, "Peekaboo! I see you!"

So big. "How big is baby?" That's the burning question. Your answer: "So big!" as you help her spread her arms as wide as she can.

Clap hands. As you sing those words over and over, guide your baby's hands in a clapping motion. This works pretty well with feet too.

Puppets. Hand and finger puppets are wildly entertaining for babys dont be discouraged if they seem uninterested at first they will be giggling cooing and reaching for mister socky before you know it.

Faces/Noises. make different expressions and noises for baby to explore stick with things that interest not startle watch as he reacts responds or even imitates.

UFOs. Hold a soft toy up in the air and slowly bring it down close enough for baby to see. Use the tone of your voice to whoooooooo.... going up.... and then down.... to associate the movement with the sound.

Tummy Time/Floor Play

Heads up. Lay your baby on her tummy. Hold a colorful toy near your baby's head, just a little higher than you normally would, to encourage her to raise her head to see. Give her lots of praise when she lifts that heavy head - she's working hard!

Beach ball Rock. Get a beach ball or an exercise ball, deflate it slightly, place your baby on the ball TUMMY DOWN. While supporting him (you can hold his sides, legs or thighs depending on how well he/she can control her body), roll him back and forth and side to side. You can sing or talk at the same time.

Ball Time. place a ball by babys feet let them kick and roll it (this may seem pointless at first baby is kicking and hits the ball only because you put it there but continue the practice). As they get older they will be able to pass it up to their hands and roll throw ect.

Supported Crawling. While baby is tummy down place your palms behind their feet so they can push off.

Other 

Water. water is fun to splash grab or feel sit in a tub or kiddy pool with them or fill up a bowl (just expect it to spill so have towles down or do it in the yard) add floting toys drop things in the water so it makes noises ect.

Sensory Play. baby's love to touch feel taste explore So let them Better yet encourage it any texture sound ect is new to them so collect things magazine pages, rice, fabric, leaves ect. seriously anything pretty much goes as long as its not toxic/dangerous and always keep an eye out especially with smaller items or baby's who are starting to grasp/chew rather then swat at.   

Dance. Dance for or with baby move baby so he is dancing on his own give your voice a rest and dance to some beats move babys arms or legs to music while he lays down simply play different types of music and let him react on his own. 

learning from birth

Babys whole lives revolve around learning so why wait to start teaching things until school. what if every day was a learning day not a special time set aside for "school stuff" not a boring crap workbook of age appropriate activity's like the oh so not the least bit enjoyable tracing the letter A 700 times by we make children hate their lives incorporated. yeah Workbooks have their place yes when he starts school we probably will have a set aside homework hour but introducing knowledge enjoyable makes it way more likely that kids will continue to enjoy it.


Point things out from the get go
at the start it may only be practice for mommy to get me in the habit or so I have something to keep me sane but you never know what he is picking up and the truth is I will need the practice. Instead of droneing through the isles of a store or the side of the road or anything else make it an adventure.

 things to point out

Whats it made of (chicken/cotten/plastic)

what is it (tree/sheet/plushie)

Whats it called (hot pocket/playdoh/duvet)

What color is it (red/grey/green)

What shape is it (round/square)

What does it have pictures of (Food/locations/animals)

 Whats it for (dinner/playtime/keeps us warm)

 

 Add in concepts

we are getting this becuse........

this one is cheaper.......

this one is bigger......

we want/need/enjoy/have to have

Hard/soft/fluffy/smooth/rough

Ask questions

~especilly once they are talkers dont drill things make it a game~

can you find something red?

do you know what this is for?

what kind of animals do you see?

think outside the box 

~dont just practice factual things let them practice imagination thought process and planning (it might even end up being something worth trying)~

What would you make soup with? 

what chould make this better?

what chould you do with this?

 which do you prefer?

Advance the content

dont forget to add concepts as he starts grasping things look at the big red truck is only informative for so long. got the basics down move on to ideas and concepts add in prices and mathematics at the store let him make some of the shopping decisions.

Story time

Reading is huge to me and it is about so much more then teaching him words or concepts or anything else story time is a time for us to bond some of my best memorys are books and that something I really want to pass on to Connor so im doing it from the start.

Hello Library we will become good friends. hundreds of options for little ears and eyes years of materials and no wasted money. if its a crappy book we get another one if hes not interested we get another one if it becomes his passion I can go buy it and build A collection He actually enjoys. bed time stories day time story's read along time I honestly think I will be disappointed once he is a proficient reader Im looking forward to digesting some non digital material again. 

Sneaky mommie 

so far though my number one plan for teaching Connor things is not telling him Im teaching him things. I know you guys have seen learning games especially if your a Pintrest freak like me lately. 

So play them try them even if you dont think they will work 

do a color based scavenger hunt

make shape puzzles

matching games 

coin counting board games

use playdough for math

educational busy books

sensory bins 

Animal Walls

heck even come up with a monthly lesson plan if its your style but dont make it a huge deal dont stop play time to learn or say things like now we are going to practice letters. (at least not at first obviously as they get older they will need some specific "school work time") just do it. HEs not going to fight something He doesn't know is boring. Once hes already been doing it for a while it will be easier to introduce the more boring aspects because he is already interested in the concept.

  

 

Mommy's Temper (achieving anger free discipline)

Keeping myself calm is one of my biggest fears of being a parent. I'm not a very patient person and the last thing I want to be is the screaming irrational parent whos children grow up to think hates them. More importantly the best way to teach anything is to live it so here is my keep your cool formula. 

Maintain

keep yourself healthy- eat sleep & exercise

keep up with the house- the more there is to overwhelm you the more overwhelmed you will be

Keep a to do list- just don't stress if it doesn't all get done

Breath

dont focus on the bad- anger builds dont help it

step back- is it actually bad or just not how I would do it

take a time out for yourself- sometimes its best to walk away

ask for help- If a 5 min breather wont cut it get some back up

What Not To Say

stop crying/ hurry up/shut up

your so *insert negative attribute

leave me alone

get over it

Try Instead

ignore it- if its not dangerous or destructive or inappropriate let it play out

offer alternatives- redirection when appropriate Is more constructive then constant scolding

A hug- sometimes your both just stressed 

If punishment is necessary stay even and firm try that hug again it will let the LO know you dont hate them. If you really cant keep your cool make it clear that the child is out of bounds that the behavior wont be tolerated and send them to wait for you. Try your best to make sure the punishment fits the crime.

I Want This--------

Not This----------

How to keep your child from pushing your limits

these are the things I will be trying to do so that we arnt visiting punishment row 40 times a day & so I dont have to worry about pulling my hair out every waking moment. More importantly these are the things Im going to do so that when my kid grows up they will be a decent adult.  

Teach them their emotions and how to express them- this is what your feeling here are some good ways to handle that

teach them proper behavior- this is whats expected & this is why

have clear rules and follow through- this is what happens when we break the rules (and actually do it) be firm and consistent.

treat them like people- kids are humans respect them and they will respect you

notice when they are good- if you only pay attention when they are bad there's no reason for them to be anything else

think about why this is happening- What is happening? why is this not except-able? can we think of why we are upset? could we solve this in a better way? Let them come up with the answers even if they aren't “good ones” explore the responses.

Use natural consequences when possible- its easier to make a link and actually learn from it.

lead by example- seriously no one listens to a person whos full of crap if im not living it or at least trying to then the whole things a waste. 

Communicate- really listen to your kids dont nod and forget or lecture talk communicating means listening and speaking.

Dont be a police state- the best way to lose your child is to control your child they will fight back its inevitable impart tools not tracking devices. 

 

Starting The Routines Early

So I live in a pretty small place and alot of the time I find myself putting things off its not that big a deal. until there is 7 loads of laundry and not a single clean plate. granted its really not that much still it takes me no more then a day to get everything back into place organized by height facing the right direction and "retail displayed" as my boyfriend calls . k it might take me more then a day right now but that's just because Im pregnant and have to take a nap every 30 min. however the baby is comeing and somithing tells me stacks of dirty dishes and nasty floors are not what im going to be needing to deal with nor will I have a full day to dedicate to them so Iv started a cleaning routine.

Every Day- compleate the tasks

wash the dishes
Clean up food scraps
pickup wrappers trash and pet disasters
take out the trash 

Assigned Days- do any necessary touch ups to assigned room (organize vacuum baseboards ect)
Monday- kitchen
Tuesday- hall
wendsay-bathroom
thursday- bedroom
friday- closets

Weekly- do at least one load of laundry a week (pre baby that's actually all the laundry we have Im sure it will have to be adjusted post poo dispenser arrival)

Monthly- check for household repairs, pests, and skeleton closets (like my IDK where this goes drawers and the other half's corner of disrepair)

This is sitting inside a page protector On the front of the fridge with a dry erase marker next to it I just strike through the task when ever it is completed It doesn't really matter what time of day. As long as its done each day it stays under control and its been super helpfull.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After Connors arrival Ill be adding a changing and feeding chart. Not really a schedule just a way to mark it down and keep track so we can notice if anything goes off kilter.

Then once I get settled in with baby im going to start working out again nothing big Im thing about a mile run and a basic arms legs abs routine each day but it will just be on a list of daily activity's along with Connors tummy time and maybe even special pet time and daddy time just to keep myself from forgetting. Not actual assigned times just something to remind myself to get off my ass and do something special each day. also it feels surprisingly good to literally mark something off the list each day.

I think starting to get myself in order is pretty important anyway if Connor grows up seeing mommy doing what needs to be done it will be so much easier and more effective to tech him responsibility then sitting on the couch and screaming about how he needs to pull his weight.  
 

First Timer Basics

So as a first time mother and generally non baby person one of my biggest fears once Connor gets here is not knowing how to do anything and I mean anything. Baby people tend to forget that a true first timer knows nothing. When I ask for info on changing diapers I mean start from which direction it goes and how do I not throw up not debate the advantages of cloth or how to make homemade wipes. So basically I stopped asking I felt retarded going um yeah can I have the preschool version of that please. No I didn't know that all strollers fold I thought it was a special feature No I wasn't aware that babies had to be sponge bathed until the umbilical cord healed and no I'm still not exactly sure how to use the sling part of my infant to toddler tub. Swaddling still confuses me and I downloaded a freaking diagram for it. so this is my list of baby basics that I have compiled to have in one place so I'm not trying to Google things mid diaper change or something. its mostly common tips for myself honestly.

Bath Time- http://www.babble.com/baby/baby-care/complete-guide-to-bathing-your-baby-bath-baby-baby-bathtub/bath-how-to-bathe-tub-3/

Diapering- http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/diapering-a-baby-9/slideshow-diapering

Swaddling

Breast Feeding-  http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-breastfeed-a-visual-guide_1439783.bc


Burping-  http://www.babycenter.com/0_how-to-burp-your-baby_10363676.bc

Basic care- notes to self

don't forget or fear the face
when washing don't skip the face your not going to break it (just be careful to keep suds out of eyes) 
use cotton balls soaked in warm water to solve gunky eyes
dont let noses get clogged up there's a reason for the snot sucker in your baby kit

Sensitive skin
skip the fragrance the lavender cucumber blend wont matter when he breaks out in hives
dry baby off trapped moisture on soft skin can cause rashes especially in the diaper zone

Trim it 
Trim their nails your not going to chop off any fingers

Ding-a-ling
keep it covered and pointed down
 


 

Ideas For babys 1st Christmas

So I want to have some family traditions and I especially want to celebrate the holidays with my little one however for the first year he will probably come after Halloween so no costumes and I don't think he will quite be caring about thanksgiving dinner at probably like 2 weeks old (I seriously doubt I'll even be wanting to cook one so Ill probably just snap a pic with a themed onsie and maybe see if any of the local churches do a community meal mommy needs mashed potatoes and gravy or the day just wont count)     

Which leaves me at basicaly starting with Christmas and why not Its one of the bigest holidays of the year and one of my favorites to. other then Easter because even though I had to dress up mom made chicken Waldorf saled and or corned beef brisket. (ok yeah I was a weird child get over it) 

so first I came up with the list of family traditions Id like to have. 

• Decorate the tree (cut down a mini from the woods like always)
• Make a yearly treat (Make a holiday snack each year like a Gingerbread home or Xmas rice crispys when he gets old enough let him chose what to make each year)
• Make a yearly ornament (chose a more permanent type of ornament each year make it personal hopefully we can keep the tradition going until the Christmas tree becomes a time line of little prints and pictures and memory's)
• Christmas eve gift (we each get to chose one gift to open on Christmas eve)
• Christmas morning stocking (everyone gets a stocking yes you better believe even me lol)
• Christmas day meal (it doesn't have to be huge but it will be special)

so for babys first christmas I need to
Make 3 stockings mine daddys and babys (yeah Iv kinda failed at holiday celebrating lately)
chose and decorate a tree (the one thing me and daddy did keep alive lol) 
Chose and make babies first Christmas ornament (the super fun part)


so I narrowed it down to a few options for Babys first Christmas ornament .

salt dough foot print

1. make salt dough - 1/2 cup water, 1/2 cup salt, 1 cup flour.  mix all ingredients and knead well
2. roll salt dough - maybe 1/4" thick or so? (might have been thinner)
3. press feet into dough (add water to dough if not soft enough to reasonably press feet)
4. cut around foot print
5. make hole for ribbon (will shrink, so make slightly big)
6. bake at 250 degrees for 2 hours on cookie sheet sprayed with pam 
7. Let cool 
8. Paint with acrylic and dry
9. paint info on back and dry (babys 1st xmas or age or whatever) 
10. gloss coat and dry
11. string and hang

Print Globes

1. buy globe ornamant
2. paint bottom of babys foot or hand 
3. press on globe and dry
4. paint on info and dry
5. gloss coat and dry
6. hang 

Baby Shoes
 ok so technically this is an actual store bought ornament but i figured it can be that hard to

1. take a pair of babies shoes 
2. write out the info on the soles
3. Clear coat the sole so the writing doesn't fade
4. string them up to hang 
5. if I want I can even use a hot glue dot and tack the shoes together side by side like the ornament so they face the same way   

Baby Blocks
yet another technicaly store bought ornamant that whouldnt be that hard to make and whould give the option for photos.

1. Get a plain wooden block
2. drill a hole through one of the corners
3. use mod podge to attach photos to some sides
4. use paints to decorate or write info one other sides
5. use mod podge to seal and protect whole block (be sure not to fill in hole)
6. String and hang

Oh and for a bonus I was looking at stocking kits and came across these

im not A huge fan of the fabrics used but I am a huge fan of how simple they are to make http://www.craftandfabriclinks.com/xmas_stocking/Christmas_stocking_pattern.html also not a fan of the way the instructions are writen but this is honestly super easy to do just pick up some decent patterned fabric. no appliques or felt scenery or pompoms and fringe to fall all over the floor in a few years. to bad I don't have a sewing machine anymore I could probably pop them out in less then a night. Since I'll have to hand stitch intead I may even leave the lining out and just pick up a decent fabric. I can always redo them down the road if need be.

  

Lines & Fits (how to wait with a kid)

 So I was in Walmart behind the dreaded screaming kicking toddler and in normal never having a kid fashion went WTF is wrong with you shut it up. My foot started tapping my eyes started rolling and my stomach started jumping. Wait your stomach started what.... I actually got so upset I made Connor mad and he started kicking me. Thats when I realized It wont be long. I will have my own little bundle of screaming crying impatience and the truth is I'm really not acting any differently myself I just happen to be doing my fit pitching less vocally.  

 

 waiting sucks I'm 21 and I'm still terrible at it and a kid has to learn to be patient that is going to go so much better a little bit at a time. Besides even as an adult there is nothing wrong with keeping yourself respectfully entertained its why we bring book on flights produce phones that play video games and the entire reason the Ipod exists. So why do we get exasperated when tired hungry 2 year olds who have nothing to do are upset at having to stand in line. Yet we as well feed in control adults still want to stab people in the face when they count change take to long to load their carts or own a tired hungry and exasperated toddler.   

So I decided I would go ahead and figure out how to avoid or at least handle being that parent that half of Walmart wants to shoot. and this is what I pieced together to be my survival guide.

before you go assess the situation- yes sometimes things have to be done but if its past nap time they havent eaten they are allready upset ect ect does it HAVE to be done right now.

keep them respectfully entertained- especially for long waits restaurants offices doctors ect

• Toys- Have a go bag of waiting appropriate toys no noise makers or multiple pieces think small stuffed animals and tethers for the first little bit hot-wheels and action figures later.
• Baby stages- I wonder if I can use a paci gripper to attach the toy to baby no dropping or throwing to irritate mommy
• Toddler stages- let him have his own little backpack and chose his own toys (as long as they are still waiting appropriate)
• Artistic- for those longer sit down waits keep it in the go bag always just encase you never know when a long wait will pop up and make it non messy.
• Baby stages- play dough bags leave the dough in a baggy squeeze out the air and seal off the top let him squish it around through the plastic.
• Toddler stages- coloring/activity book, pipe cleaners (he can make his own figurines)
• Material free fun- talk, explore, joke, observe, story tell, listen just make sure kids learn indoor voice once they are doing a lot of the talking
• Baby stages- play a rhyming game/sing a lullaby point out colors and shapes mine as well practice teaching early
• toddler stages- play games like Eye spy or can you find....... (exmpl. 3 different animals) make up stories for people around you play trivia or would you rather.

stay patient- getting irritated is only going to make it worse for both of us

have snacks- even daddy gets grumpy if he is hungry

lead by example- if mommy's huffing and bickering the kids arnt going to learn from your well planed speech about the importance of patience and respect.

listen to the situation- a kid doesn't always need to be entertained don't make it a big deal when its not one

be prepared to lose your place- especially once he gets older don't stand there exasperated and making everyone's life miserable. if the behavior is completely out of hand go correct it dont just stand there mouthing im sorry like a putz. 

Baby Rhyme Games

Rhyming games are something I definitely want to do yeah in the beginning your basically just a crazy person talking to yourself but as baby grows they can do the motions and even eventually sing the songs all by themselves so its like a grow and learn thing. Besides these are classics a kids not a kid until they have been taught Pat-a-cake.

Pat-A-Cake

        Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake, baker's man, (clap your baby's hands)
        Bake me a cake as fast as you can; (repeat clapping)
        Roll it (roll baby's hands) and pat it; (pat baby's hands)
        Mark it with a B. (draw a B in the middle of baby's hand)
        Put it in the oven for baby and me. (gently poke baby in the tummy)

If You're Happy

        If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. (clap baby's hands)
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. (clap baby's hands)
        If you're happy and you know it, then your hands will surely show it.
        If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. (clap baby's hands)

This Little Piggy

        This little piggy went to market, (wiggle the big toe)
        This little piggy stayed home, (wiggle the second toe)
        This little piggy had roast beef, (wiggle the third toe)
        This little piggy had none, (wiggle the fourth toe)
        And this little piggy cried, "Wee, wee, wee!" all the way home! (wiggle the baby toe)

Gobble Gobble

        Wee wiggle, (wiggle baby toe)
        Two tickle, (wiggle next toe)
        Three giggle, (wiggle next toe)
        Four sniggle, (wiggle next toe)
        Five-gobble! (pretend to gobble up your baby's foot)

Wheels on the Bus

         (Bicycle your baby's legs as you sing the first four lines.)

         The wheels on the bus go round and round,

         Round and round, round and round,

         The wheels on the bus go round and round,

         All through the town.

         The people on the bus go up and down. (lift your baby's arms up and down)

         The wipers on the bus go back and forth. (roll baby from side to side)

         The horn on the bus goes beep, beep, beep. (touch your baby's nose) 

these are just the ones that IMO every kid should know and I see no reson they chouldnt be done from day one except maybe wheels on the bus but for one of the most extensive lists Iv ever seen Check out..........................

http://www.scribd.com/doc/27362530/Games-Rhymes-Songs-And-Lullabies-for-Babies 

some of these are awesome and totally going in my personal collection even if the other kids in school might never be that familiar with them.

my pregnancy (29 weeks)

So I'm starting this blog near the end of my pregnancy I'm already 29 weeks and looking quite explody. all the fun parts of pregnancy are past I in all my wisdom skipped pregnancy revelation, gender reveals, viability landmarks, first kicks and all the fun stuff. Instead I started my blog just in time to record my back pain, night sweats, uncontrollable bladder, and general ability to look like jabba the hut while making weird wheezy grunting noises every time I get out of bed. 

So I will play a little catch up

April 3rd 2012- after over a month of my Boyfriend annoying me I took a pregnancy test It was positive.

April 5th 2012- I completely quit smoking (previously a pack a day smoker) 

April 27th 2012- I woke up pouring blood I just knew i was losing my little one I took an ambulance to the ER I had a subcorianic hemorrhage.

May 1st 2012- 1st OB appointment I was told I was due DEC 9th 2012 which made me 8 weeks pregnant at the time.

a few more OB appointments Some trouble with insurance followed by some trouble with the OB based on my insurance (all my testing and even appointment's were delayed for a few months because I was pending coverage) basic pregnancy progression nothing of interest really.

August 15th 2012- Anatomy ultrasound At what was believed to be 23 weeks I got more then a gender reveal ITS A BOY by the way. I also learned I am actually due NOV 9th and not in DEC 9th there had been a mistake by whoever recorded the ER report on my intake papers for the OB office.

so In one hour I went from being 23 weeks and some change to 27 weeks and some change. which brings us to now. I am currently 29 weeks and 4 days pregnant Im carrying a little boy who has already surprised me (by existing) terrified me (by bleeding) and shocked me (by being due a month earlier) before he has even been born.

when I look back on my pregnancy so far im honestly disappointing. I never even realized i was pregnant until 2 months in and even then my boyfriend noticed not me. I didnt see a doctor till the begining of the 2nd tri and then still only for half of it due to stupid stupid insurance. I didnt even see my baby until the third ok fine technically my ultrasound was 2 days before the start of my third trimester but still you get the point. (i was not allowed to see the original ultrasound at the ER) I dont even have a child yet and I feel like a failure as a mother. plus i dont even like being pregnant i feel like a terrible person saying that but i really dont I feel like crap I hate being so tiered I hate worrying about if he is ok for the logest time I hated how I look........I honestly just really want this to be over. 

When i look forward though I am very very excited it is really only like 2 months to my due date. and while im still slightly terrified of babies I cant wait to be a mother.
      

Parenting (what I want)

So im just going to dive right into causing problems and make my first real post be about parenting. The first thing that came to my mind when I saw those double lines wasn't money or space It was "am I ready to be a good parent". like any practically still teenager I had a long list of things I didn't want to do. but then I relized I was looking at the picture backwards who cares what you dont want thats like asking someone what they want for dinner and hearing not eggplant well thanks that narrows it right down to oh yeah several thousand other options.

So this Is my list of things I do want to do.

Teach not Preach - I will teach my children I will teach them respect and responsibility common sense and common courtesy I will teach them to love to forgive and to fight and so much more. Teaching is a parents main duty but preaching is not. The fastest way to get someone to ignore you is to force them to listen my child is a person to be guided not a sheep to be herded.

A firm hand is not always a heavy hand- Sometimes more can be accomplished with much much less punishments should fit the crime not my anger if I know I'm not making a clear decision I need to step back. I still remember being a kid having to wait is sometimes worse then any switch or grounding thats when you know you've gone and done it this time.

Listen and Answer- My kid wont be in control but that also doesn't mean they shouldn't have a say. If they have no input or options or decisions to make then they don't learn to function on their own. my kids may not always get the answer they want but they will get one and not because I said so.

Be There- When my kid needs someone I hope that they will know it can be me. When they are little I want to want to hear about buzz lightyear or whatever enthralls children these days and when they are older I want to be the one who knows which girl/boy they like which teachers suck and so much more.   

Build them up- I want my kid to know im proud of them even when they make stupid decisions and deserve to have their head ripped off they will know im still proud of them. mostly I want them to know that they should never be ashamed of themselves.

Think Child- I would rather argue with a teen who can think for them selves then watch them blindly follow friends to the grave because they were taught to follow without question. Respect and obedience does not equal stupidity and naivety. If there is anything I impart to my kid it should be to freaking think.  

Do- dont be the mom that talks about going camping Go freaking camping go to the park make a cardboard robot study ants. IDK what it is but I will be doing things with my kid every moment is a moment to learn experience and enjoy. I never want to be the mom that's to busy on farmville to go outside. 

Manners Child- I dont care if my kid decides to be a little goth punk he will say thank you he will hold doors for others he will respect a female even if she doesnt deserve it and he dang better never ever cock back on me or mommy will pull his little skinny jeans down and whip him with his own wallet chain.

This is the kind of parent I want to be Maybe to harsh for some Maybe to hippy for other maybe even a bit unrealistic when it comes to actually raising a child. But its what Im going to strive for its the kind of parenting I think will work. Its the kind of parent I will be proud of myself if I even come close to being. 
 




 



  
  



   

Introduction & Statment

I'm 7 months pregnant 

I'm due DEC 9th 2012 

I'm having a boy 

His name will be Connor Dean

Im not the motherly type at least I never thought I was. As a kid I told my mom If I ever had children I was going to ship them off somewhere until they were old enough to walk and talk and then I'd take them back. as a teen my philosophy never really changed. Of course I baby sat as every teen does but I only baby sat toddlers I liked toddlers I got along with them I understood them I didn't touch babies. And that's really not much of an exaggeration. Iv held three babies in my whole life. two were handed to me because I told people I don't do babies and they thought that was the most ridiculous thing ever. Obviously it was because I just hadn't held a baby. Apparently every persons child is sprinkled in magical loveable fairy dust that can instantly turn someone into a baby person. the third was my cousins kid I did that one semi voluntarily because I thought since we were related it might be different It really wasn't.    

Don't get me wrong I don't hate babies they are kinda cute I love baby things I will coo and aww over anything midget sized. I just have always been extremely uncomfortable around babies. I don't know what to do with them they fuss for no apparent reason they make noises that are not human And they are inconceivably good at sensing my fear. Sleeping babies wake up just to fuss if I enter the room. Babies that "never cause problems" will simultaneously screech projectile vomit and explosively poo followed by an hour of uninterrupted crying if I stand over their crib (this has happened twice). Im just plain not good around babies. Even if a toddler is being an inconceivable jack douche you know what they are doing you can react control or ignore the situation. Babies make evil scary faces and live in a foreign world speaking some alien tongue even their little often strangely shaped bodies just plan move different.

Oh but all of that will change when you have your own baby you just wont understand until your holding your own little bundle of joy. I hope your right generic motherly advice giver because honestly after about 3 months of prep work (I rather obviously was not trying to get pregnant so I didn't find out until over two months along) I'm still terrified. I have noticed changes I defiantly want my child I'm very excited about giving birth but I am terrified that I will be a terrible mother. Everyone worries about that silly girl it will all come together. But what if it doesn't? What if I don't learn how to read babies weird little alien language? What if I change its diaper when it wants to be play and play with it when it wants to sleep and put it to bed when it wants to eat? What if it senses my fear and incompetence and vehemently protests being placed in the hands of such a total loser?

I probably wont get a real answer to any of those questions until I'm holding my baby. maybe my baby will be a total hellion but I will find such joy in his existence none of the drama or trouble or screw ups will matter. Maybe my baby will be a total angel but my crippling fear of the squishy faced beings will re-manifest and all parenting tasks will be delegated to the father until It can in fact walk and talk just like I said when I was 5.

However there Is one thing I can say.............. no matter how much I screw up as a first time parent, No matter how many times I say I cant do this, that I dont get it, that its to hard.....I am going to keep trying. that's what this blog is for Its a place for me to record the things I want to impart to my child the things I want to teach him do with him discover with him make and play and remember. this is a place to record the kind of parent I want to be. As it progresses it will be a place to list what I accomplished and what I failed what was absolutely ridiculous of me to believe in the first place and what he teaches me. its a place for me to reflect to be honest to boast and sometimes to flat out bitch and complain.

I hope this blog ends up being positive that it bring hope and joy and ideas and laughter I hope to spark something in this world........ or at lest be bookmarked for the most extensive list of cool crap to try.